This week has been another crazy week. My calendar was full. We were exhausted and suffering from adrenal fatigue, with all the emotions of home visit and School sale prep, not to mention a frantic moment when Dakota and his cousin Kyle, had a head on collision playing tag after dark, Kyle fared fine-Dakota was totaled-resulting in a trip to the ER for a major concussion (throwing up blood three times). This was two nights before the school sale. *sigh*. He is recovering well, still suffering headaches, but very little to no nausea now.

Wednesday evening was home groups. Not a big turn out. Wayne and the children plus Sonny's family stripped 100's of pieces of gum off the dance floor @ Hodges. I hear it was disgusting. Sonny is planning to have a Bible Study twice a month for the neighborhood, and serve soup and fresh bread for the meal afterwards.

Thursday noon we had an appointment for Cheyenne to have her spacers put in between her teeth- she has 6 total. She is living off of soft mushy food for awhile. Friday Nov. 6 she gets her braces on than we go to get a tooth pulled after that The Orthodontist is hoping to get the baby tooth pulled and permanent coming down before it kills one of her other permanent teeth. Most our children have the Swarey teeth. 

Today, Kayla climbed Humpback Rock with the youth group. She came home pretty wore out-it was a big climb, and since it was a lovely day, it brought the crowds out. We were here for the most part, Wayne took Dakota hunting this evening. Dakota was more interested in Squirrel hunting over Deer hunting ;)

By 10:30 pm I had the house cleaned, bathrooms scrubbed, floors mopped, whole house vacuumed kitchen cleaned-it is CLEAN! Thanks to Cheyennes help.. And it feels so good, that I think I am going to sit and enjoy it for a bit before turning in for the night.

Next week is another big week, Wednesday we get to serve the Woodsmen lunch. Wayne is planning on fixing a dutch oven meal, Grandma is bringing salad, and we are fixing something pumpkin for dessert since it is Austin's all time favorite! We are so excited to have the whole group here! Wayne is going to give them a tour of the shop on their way back to Mission Home area where they will stay in a cabin for the night. Than Thursday head back to camp. Yes it is mixed emotions. It is going to be really hard to be able to see Austin for probably just several hours......
Going to turn in while the house is quiet and baby dear is sound asleep yet, he usually wakes crying before 12:00 am.

Kristena

Sometimes when it rains it pours.
This week has been a roller coaster, twists and turns in everyway possible. It started out Monday morning bright and early with phone calls and emails  about the Canned Goods stand for the School Sale, to a meeting in the evening planning a meal to feed 50 people. Tuesday morning dawned bright and early with a Cardiologist appointment with the 4 yr. old glaring me straight in the face. That went fine, and the 4 yr. old was cleared of any heart issues, unless her symptoms climax. Wednesday I was home, we cleaned house, and it felt S.O. R.I.G.H.T. in everyway. It was just a wonderful feeling to be able to be home.
Thursday had us rolling a little earlier and faster. I had 5 dentist appointments lined up. Including a tooth ache for me. Several of the children that didn't need to go to the Dentist  were going to my sisters house to play for the day. 30 minutes before we left, a text came through that nobody wants to read, I gasped and crumpled to my bed, as I read "I rolled my vehicle" and the next text said, "Call my man". I was shaking and weak, as well as all the children. There was no way I or Kayla could even drive to town. So I called my brother in law to see if there was anything I could do. There was nothing, so I just sat on the couch processing the fact my sweet sister had been in an accident. Her and the two littles were fine, just a few scratches. 6 minutes before we were supposed to walk out the door my brother in law called and needed a carseat, so  we sailed. My children were almost terrified, buckle up, drive slow, are there going to be police? Oh the questions. Yes the state troopers were the best  I have ever met. Soon after I got there, My other sister came, and the two of us went in the Ambulance and were able to talk a little. I had to leave unfortunately due to appointments, but another sister stopped in than too. I hope those troopers know she is a well loved sister! This evening I sit, weak, emotionally spent.
Half way through my day, Carter came to me and said LOOK! And there was blood coming out his ear, I wasn't worried since we are actually trying hard to get a big blood clot loose and out. But I was concerned when I seen it was actually draining liquid. Worry turned to relief when I  remembered that tomorrow morning we leave @ 7:30 for an appointment with the surgeon. We really need that blood clot out, so we can make further decisions and plan on those two ears...
Tomorrow is the big day... We have enough orders for the first load of Golden Delicious Apples, 5 bins (100 bushel) We will need to make a 2nd run later. We love fall time with all the fresh apples we could want and Apple Crisp, apple pie, apple cakes, you name it!
I told the littles, I was coming outside to enjoy the fresh air.. So off I go!

Travels

Traveling with 8 children can make quite the road trip at times. This last trip I took alone with them all left me feeling all but happy about another trip. What should have been a 9 hr. trip was drug out into a 12 hr. trip, leaving us home by evening, very exhausted and feeling just a little ill towards each other. To be quite honest I think we hit the minimum of 12 bathroom stops. And we didn't even do refills on their water cups. One child make it two children like to check out bathrooms. Whether they need to go or not, they must like to check the décor or height of the toilet? Maybe sniff the soap. We took the Flash Master along, in case there was boredom, or they were tired of playing the ABC game or the Cow/Graveyard game. The Flash Master was a hit!
Having the second driver along has helped, Even though I still don't let her drive 81 yet. I have to go with what makes me feel comfortable.
I stop in a town 2 hrs. from home. I meet a lady walking into a store as I was walking out. She wondered who I was. I told her my maiden name, "Yes, I looked like a Swarey". I just chuckled and decided I will never be able to hide my looks-I look too much like Dad to be able to hide. And don't fret, I feel quite honored to be a Swarey and to look like my Dad!
I quite seriously just got off a trip, and we-Wayne, I and baby are on the road again tomorrow morning. 5:30 am! Maybe earlier. It will be a 13 -14 hr. day this time. Since it is Eval, I am facing facts that I will come home emotionally drained. Probably crying and totally exhausted. But on the other hand I am a little excited about going, knowing that it is marking 8 months since Austin has been placed at camp, and twice now we will have sat down and evaluated his stay and how it is going and where he is at in his life.
But on the other hand............... I know that Tuesday will come and we will be tripping it again! This time the southern part of 81. There will be lots of packing, Food, cleaning, organizing, school books to pack, etc. to get ready to leave. Having a car seat baby has been a blessing. And maybe he likes his car seat, because than he has reassurance that he will be going with momma!
I have a lot to be Thankful For!

Another rainbow in a rainstorm

Monday morning dawned bright and early, I quickly got the children up and chores moving on. The two boys and I had to be on the road by 8:30 am for the post op/Audio test. I was hoping for a lot of answers to our questions on Carter.
Hearing test was scheduled first for Carter, Dakota and I just chilled out in the corner waiting. As we walked to the next appointment, we passed Dr. Hengerer's office, desk empty. Rooms empty, doors open. The tears wanted to come, I choked back a sob. I am happy for Dr. Hengerer that he is able to retire, move to another state, play all the golf he could ever play, and relax now! But we have been seeing him for 13 yrs. with 6 out of 8 children, and he holds a special place in our hearts. Oh how we will miss him!  walking on to Dr. H room, I was feeling very thankful that we do have another good Dr.
Dr, H walked in, we quickly got down to business with Carter since he was the one residing in "the chair". Carters hearing test revealed some unsettling issues. 'My heart sunk'. He can still hear a little bit out of his left ear, but almost nothing with his right ear. We quickly effortlessly came up with a plan of action. Dr. H knew my dread of putting Carter through school. And how could we send him for speech therapy IF he couldn't hear, but just lip read? Dr. H plans to go in his right ear and take the tube out, and just paper patch it for now. There isn't very much response from the sternum bone either, meaning that 1. hopefully  the tube and hard  wax are preventing it from moving or 2. his hearing/ear issue is a birth defect.
 Round about Christmas if there are no more ear issues, infections, fluid, etc. The surgeon will go back in and do skin grafting to close the holes in both ears. It will be a lengthy surgery. Although outpatient.
Than Carter stepped out the chair and Dakota crawled in... for the post op. Oh boy. This one has fluid on the ears... My mouth just dropped open. You are kidding! Dr. H's chin dropped to his chest, "you guys are really going through it"! Yes, I said, but you know! It's just part of life right now!! We are hoping that the surgery just upset the Eustachian tubes temporarily, and they will fix/heal themselves. So the plan for Dakota is to come back in 2 months for a recheck to see if things are cleared up, and until than we are to let it all rest for another 7 days and than start on some allergy meds... hmmm of some kind- forgot the name..
So Tuesday has come and gone, and my brain has been in overload mode. Sorting through overwhelmed feelings. Emotions. Worries. Concerns. FEARS. I am waiting on a phone call from "Pat" to set up all the final details of surgery. I did walk out the office feeling most grateful for Dr. H, for being such a wonderful, patient, caring Dr. We have truly been blessed!
I have seen a lot of medical in our children: Hernia's, Orchiopexy, ears, ears, ears, Adenoids, Tonsils, Hemorrhoids, But when it comes to a child that has hearing loss, it is quite frankly a scary thing.
Tomorrow is looking  brighter for the moment. Having a husband that is a machinist is a blessing! He is amazing at what all he can fix. Or just make his own part to replace something that would cost a lot to buy... I think the mower is ready to crank up again, and this time without the smell of fire. And no, the twins didn't have anything to do with this smell this time! The last time, they filled the oil totally full, and put gas in ;)
We do need to bake a couple batches of Oatmeal whoopee pies, (icing is made!) laundry, and clean the van out, and try to figure out why the antibiotic did not seem to work for Jesse. And yes it should have worked. It was a positive antibiotic, different from the negative antibiotic that is being taken for his Kidney...... (I know that doesn't make sense, but pretend it does) I ended up about 11:00 tonight giving him a shower trying to calm his cough down and get rid of the wheezing. Maybe he will be better tomorrow-just maybe!
Oh this weekend is looking like a lot of fun! Fireworks, picnic, the type where you put your blanket on the ground and throw all the food in the middle, sit down and enjoy! Oh we can't wait! Just wishing Kayla and Austin could be here for it.
And now off to get a little sleep while the house is quiet.

A typical day in a big family

Most generally my days as a mom are crazy! Every now and than it calms down.
But a normal day has about a dozen curve balls thrown in my direction. That I have to catch and do something about.
Yesterday was another one of those normal/crazy days.
Every morning at 4 am, I manage to mutter the words, "you have your phone? I love you too". And than I sleep hard for another 3 hrs.
Text from brother saying that he is providing lunch at moms for us sisters, so we can get said house spring cleaned. (Hmmm. I didn't even say I would be there due to company coming here) So several phone calls to try and decide what we should do, and if anybody was going to go.
After that, I got back to the school thing. you know finishing up math? Yes.
And than I found an email from Chief David, saying Austin was running really low in his meds. So life stopped again, and I worked on ordering Austin's meds.
By than it was lunch time. After lunch Wayne called wondering if I could finish up those bags for filtering the oil at work. Sure I can do that. I only have about 16 to sew ;)  not bad! And than Carrie slipped and hurt her hand really bad.. I assured her I was certain it was a bad sprain. And in the back of my mind not so certain it wasn't something worse. But we slept over it all and this morning I am still questioning the hand.
And than the mail comes in and there is a letter from UVA, saying appointments have changed (only for the 3rd time) So I grab my planner and sit down to look things over, and make sure I am not double booking on that day. (when we go to UVA it is three back to back appointments)
1:30 Wayne calls and says he is on the way to the dentist, and by than I was nearing completion of 'the bags'. Also that there was somebody coming to pick up a puppy in the evening. which got me rolling on supper, I like to serve supper at 5:00, but since I am a procrastinator, I am lucky to get that done.
And all day long, I was rocking a fussy crying constantly cranky baby all day. And all day I was trying to figure out what was wrong. Still haven't, except that it was just a bad day. He woke up about 3 am that morning and ran through the house till after 4 am. Which exhausted me for the rest of the day.
We sat down for supper at 5:10-not bad! And I sat in the rocker with a wailing baby while everybody else ate, Jesse fell asleep soon after they were finished eating, so I ate supper alone, quiet, and peaceful! And while everybody was outside, I sat in the house and held a sleeping child, and enjoyed the peaceful, cleaned up house. It was nice. I wondered outside with baby dear looking for a babysitter while I fixed a snack for supper.
And that marks another day in the life of a Mom! I love what I do and love my children!

Real life the way it is..

I sit here with a cup of coffee trying to slow my mind down. Children are laughing hysterically around me. Bathrooms are getting cleaned. But my mind is rolling. It hits happy moments, and than sad tearful moments..........

It's nothing for the children to walk in the room and say, "Mom! Your eyes are wet again!"  and yes they are wet again, and it is nothing new to see lots of tears in our household, and not just from mom either!
There are moments of joy! When we get a letter in the mail from Austin. Work stops, and we gather around and read and re-read the letter till we have soaked everything in that was written.
Home visits! ah YES!! Lots of excitement, planning the day we travel, and the weekend Austin is home.
Prayer. When it is so visual that God has answered another prayer. And you know He is right there with you and knows your every need.
Evenings that are spent around the cook stove eating popcorn and drinking coffee together. Talking about our day, whether it is the good or the bad. (we have a lot of tough days)
Flying. When daddy comes home and announces to the children he will be flying again! We get all excited and start planning for the couple days we will be keeping the home fires burning.


There's lot of tears too. The painful ones. When you find out that a neighbor just had a still born baby, and it brings back painful memories of a miscarriage.
Funeral of a favorite Aunt/best friend.
...and than there's lots of helping your child(ren) work through tough moments of not understanding why Austin has to be gone that long, and it just doesn't feel fair.
A lot of tears flow when I see the boys pants hanging out on the line, and their is one son's missing. And that empty feeling squeezes my heart till I think I am going to just crumple. But instead I just cry.

Fun times.
When you walk into Kroger with 7 children and watch all the workers heads turn and their mouths drop open. Hmmm. They thought you must a' been a single girl. *chuckle* Nothing prideful, but I walked out of there a proud momma of 7 beautiful well mannered children. And their good manners were rewarded  up at Winchester Aldi, when a sweet lady rewarded the well mannered children with a prepaid 18 pk Pringles. Oh I guess I am a proud Momma of seven beautiful children!
Logging trees out the woods. Oh yes! I am sure women of the olden days done it! So there is no reason why we can't!

Todays Journal entry:
Last evening I glanced up in time to see Austin cup his ear and say 'huh'. That was a red flag. I asked him what made him cup his ear. Oh, I can't hear. My ear hurt during the trip and it is full of wax. I said, "Oh, Austin that is scar tissue, that can't be wax. Once we get home I will look." I was thinking the whole time, that we had larger issues going on. So this morning first thing I looked in his ear, and all I could see was the scar tissue. Next step was to call the ENT. They were booked. BOOKED! oh, and ma'am could you forward my call to Dr. H. Nurse? I need to leave her a message about another's child's sleep study. Thank you. I got off the phone and called the Pediatrician. Got an appointment. Leaped in the shower, and the phone rang- Dr. H's nurse calling back, saying we need to schedule a adenoidectomy. Whew! Praise the Lord!! No Tonsillectomy this round. The next call was to the Camera shop, get the estimate, Call Wayne for verification. *sigh* get myself ready, fix a PBJ and run out the door. And yes, Silent ear infections AGAIN! (Austin's ear was oozing) This child has been dealing with this all his life, so we are on Antibiotics hoping we see some difference before we head back to camp.
I am home, with little to no energy, after getting in at 1:30 am this morning. Baby is playing happily, children are all out playing ball with Austin. Kayla is sewing, and planning her next few weeks of summer! Our schedule is  booked through July 4th so far.

Well, off to snuggle my baby tight and make some taco salad for supper! Keeping is simple is the way to go! Less stress.

Just being real

It started last week. The feeling of not being able to keep up with the medical appointments. Carter was 9 months behind on his ENT appointment. And seriously EVERY time I would decide that 'tomorrow' I am going to call the Doctor and set up an appointment, some other wheel started squeaking and had to be greased. These wheels started really squeaking back in September of 2014. Carrie needed an adenoid/tonsillectomy. Austin was placed in Allegany Boys Camp, Jesse needed Urology recheck, Dakota, needed another physical at the Urologist, And we were sick all winter long. Yeah, we called this "The Long Winter". So one night I tell Carter, remind me tomorrow, I will call the Doctor. Well, guess what, Dakota wakes up with one monster deer tick on his ear, dark purple spot the size of the deer tick.. Hmm, we decided to get it checked out, so off we went to the Pediatrician. Wednesday, Annie needed 2 more teeth fixed and her appointment got moved up, so I told Wayne I would just take her in, 1:00 we are there and procedure is under way. We get home and this child is running and playing. 1:30 am Thursday morning she wakes up with 103.6 temperature. HOT! But that's not the worse. Around 10 am it hit 105. And we (Kayla and I) couldn't get it down. So I called the Pediatrician, and they told me I could bring her in if I would feel better about it. Well, I didn't know what else to do. This child was talking weird in her sleep, couldn't hardly wake her,, it was scaring me terrible. Once in the Doctors, they kindly informed me that it was just the flu. But I insisted it just couldn't be. A flu, I can get a high temp down, but this will not budge. Her temp was 104.1 when we got to the office. So the nurse swabbed for strep and flu. Both negative. Next cbc. Screaming ill child. Nurse pops her head in and says we need a quick weight, Doctor is on the phone with the hospital, we need to get her over there and get more tests done, actually we need to be there within 30 minutes, because registration closes. Yikes, we scrambled. Once tests were all drawn, they gave her an antibiotic shot. Oh it was terrible. My little dear screamed, and the merciless nurse's counted down. 3-2-1 JAB! Oh serious they jabbed so hard the whole needle disappeared in her little leg. One unhappy momma! We came home, to go back the next day and repeat the whole shot thing again. and No answers. We got to the office and the Doctor said, before we test for Mono, lets check her ears. OH! Says the Doctor, her ears look different, they are not infected, but we will treat this with oral antibiotics instead of the shot. We to this day do not have any answers, but the Doctor questioned picking up a bacteria in the Dentist office, or an UTI since there was traces of blood in her urine. I am just grateful I went with my momma instinct and took her in right away. Last week put me in town 5 days out of 7.
On to this week, Monday morning, Carter woke up and said his ear hurt. So I decided it is time to get this re-check done. He still has one wax corroded tube in one ear and the other ear has a hole that is 25% of his ear drum. Yes, you can see it when you look down his ear! So we went in to see Dr, Hengerer, our most loved Doctor. He has seen us through ear/tonsil/adenoid issues with 7 out of 8 children! Yep! We love him! The Doctor walks in and was so thrilled to see us, I told him that I think the children complain of ear ache so they can come see him! lol . Dr, Hengerer sweetly informed me he is retiring come June. I could have cried. And what makes it even worse he is moving out of state! That is a heart breaker, because, now who am I going to see with the children? Oh I don't like this!! Ok, back to Carter's ears... We are going to try and put off surgery till he is 8 or 9... depending on how he does in school, he can't hear very well, so we will keep track on how well he gets his sounds. But I think we have all cried about this.
Wednesday rolls around, I chat with Wayne and tell him, I think I am just going to have to call the Dentist, my tooth sure isn't getting better, and everybody says, Mom, you have a tooth ache? Yep! It's actually been hurting for a week now, and now I am the squeaky wheel! So I went to the dentist, feeling blue-if you know how terrified I am of the dentist chair, oh you would understand.. sweaty hands picking up the phone to make that call, and I quickly say "sure, I will be there at 10:45" so everybody in the house hears, they know the drill.. I hang up, and immediately say, "what time did I say I would be there"? great!! I knew I would forget. But my back up heard and helped me out. So I went alone, sweating the whole way. Worried sick. Only to find out I need a root canal done. Friday morning at 8:45 AM. Oh boy! In the mean time Wayne and I are trying to figure out how we are going to handle tomorrow...........
Thursday, we will leave the house at 4:30 am, yes you heard that right AM. We have an evaluation at camp, and weren't sure if we should take everybody... I called home and told the children, why don't they just plan to go, Dad really wants them to go and Austin would be disappointed if he couldn't see them, even if it was for 10 minutes. I than checked email on my back woods phone, and there was an email from our Family Worker saying that if we wanted to spend some time with Austin that it was an option! YES!! Don't ask!!! We want to so bad. And than the tears started running down my cheeks.. and I remember....
as a child, riding down the road. I remember the exact spot I seen it: We were on a 4 lane highway, we were driving beside another car and there was this woman  crying something terrible. Oh poor lady I thought, somebody must have died or something terrible must have happened. Back than I was young enough that it didn't hit me that you can actually cry from sheer joy! And that is what happened today!
Depression has been something that I have always fought. And the last year I have been thrilled that I finally felt like I was over coming it, maybe for good. But this last couple weeks, have been tough. It's hard to hold up my head, and go on with life. It's hard when you have a child missing from home.. It is just hard.
By 2:00 PM today I was thinking before I get overly hungry I should grab a sandwich, so I stopped by Subway. I seen there sandwiches were supposed to be $6.00 or under. I asked about the Philly cheese steak sub. No that one is about $9.00. Ok, well, give me the cheapest one than, and this voice booms behind me, "I will pay the difference, fix this lady that sandwich, she deserves to have something special". And my mouth dropped open as I turned to see the older gentleman behind me vigorously nodding his head. When I told Wayne the story tonight, I just sat and cried. I felt like I have had so many road blocks and knocks in life, and can't even be a true stay at home mom. But the confirmation through a sandwich, that God has heard, my cries, my prayers driving down the road, and my missing Austin, that He truly does love me and care about me.
Well, must go get some rest, 3:30 am is right around the corner, and I am not a morning person, so this is rather difficult for me to think about!

No pictures... Camera is in repair, but hopefully it will be in so we can pick it up tomorrow on our way back home!

Our days

Right now life is centered around School work, children, Puppies and gardening. So far we have 9 rows potatoes, 4 rows onions, double row peas, and of course, lettuce, kale, spinach, radishes, carrots planted. I know that sounds like a lot, but when you have a lot of little mouths to feed and they love all that sort of thing, it really isn't that much......

 Gardening is therapy.. It's refreshing, and gives you that sense of accomplishment, when it seems everything else that day has failed. And in our little world right now, we need everything we can get to brighten up our day and make it feel successful and cheerful!

 Here at home there are constant reminders of Austin, and with that is a lot of tears shed from everyone, today we folded his laundry and put it away, picked up his shoes and put them on the shelf.
And than I hear, "Mom, how many plates on the table?" and I think *ouch*, it just hurts. It is empty, and I count heads outside, and think there is one missing, and it hits me...Austin. Or I say, "hey Austin do you want................." and I remember he isn't here. Those are the tough days.

 And in between gardening, we embrace each day of warm sunshine that is given. Today the wind was extreme, and we all found it a little harder to enjoy the warmth.

 

 On the warm days, is when I  hear my little piano player out back on the deck playing away, and I sit back with a sigh of relief, because God is good! And in so many ways has blessed us.

 

I need little reminders daily to remember that God is there for us, he hears our cries... whether they are loud or quiet, Big or little.

.........Till Next Time.......

Yep! It's the little things that matter.

I found myself learning to adjust without Austin.. a.g.a.i.n. take one day at a time without Austin... a.g.a.i.n., forcing myself to focus on the little things, and find positive in them. And not on the mountains-because I will never be able to climb over them myself at this rate!

Whether it is medication change in a little one. It's a big ordeal around here. we have been showered in our face with antibiotic liquid for the last 6 months, why would I want to change to powder and have a sneezing fit trying to get the capsulated powder in my baby?

A warm cup of coffee always speaks sweet nothings to me

And it's ok that the 4 yr. old totes the 1 year old around everywhere, he loves her the most, and vice versus, so why knock it?

Yesterday I found this in the living room.. Sheer joy and happiness. Excuse the pj's, it was that kind of day! ;)

And than it is the "in action" pictures that are so catching!

 Love this one!

 

This is our first year, with a bird feeder of any sorts. We have loved watching the birds!

And than it is the child that sees blowing snow, and comes up with a solution to help keep his eyes and nose clear of it.

The baby that follows big sister around with mischief written all over his face.

And the struggles of sadness that my baby is turning 1. Oh how time has flown, and how unfair it has felt.

 Baby dear walks everywhere! giggling the whole time.

 

Last week, was a hard week. Tough doesn't even begin to cover it. It was one of those weeks you felt like you might have just been run over by a Mack truck. I cried over everything, Got upset over the little things. And my heart ached for Austin so bad, I felt nauseous almost to the point of throwing up.  It is hard when your vehicle is one shy of being filled up, it HURTS when you sit down at the table and there is that one empty place,  And than you sit in church and see families complete, happy, smiling, joyful, and we sit there with a seat vacant, and I cry the whole service, with my man's arm around me, worried because he can't get anything out of me... I am crying too much! And than I am thrilled for the excuse of a crying baby to just go sit in my vehicle. I cried because it marked 2yrs. since I lost a little one, but the joy that Jesse brings us everyday makes my heart sing once again this week. We hug him a little tighter, and he snuggles a little deeper into your arms.

It bothers me, that Jesse is turning 1 and Austin can't be here to celebrate, but maybe we can have another party when Austin does come home in 2.5 weeks. I cry every time I think of my brothers wedding coming up and the fact Austin probably won't be allowed to come home for that. It's the little things that are important.

But a new week has been started...and I want to focus on the little things, and bring the positive out in them.

1.  I am grateful that Sunday's fever didn't result in a UTI/Kidney infection, but just another virus!

2.  That today I can combine Dental day with Grocery shopping.                                    

3.  That if we go to Hagerstown, MD tomorrow that at least we can classify it as a date night, and I get  9 hrs, of total man time versus 2!!

4. The lady that walked into where fabric was being sold, and after asking her which ones she was looking at, she said, I am not really here to buy something for myself, but do you need a dress, I would love to buy you one! And she did. Those are the moments, that you know everybody still loves you even though you have been absent mentally....

5. I will be on the road 4 days this week, but each day is spent with my children, and  I want to make the best of my time with them, and enjoy them to the fullest!

 

So today? We are off to the Dentist for 'fix it's. Than to the grocery store...We have a full day ahead of us. Because of how we cook/eat now (more on that later), it takes me a long time to get all my stores covered! But I would love to get home in time to sew myself a dress for tomorrow! :)

 

 

 

In our most busiest times, Is when I question my coping skills

.
And than the light bulb goes on.....
2015 dawns bright and cheery, clear brain, new ideas, and a New Year!

With 8 children, 2 adults, and red mud, and 'old Macdonald Farming. There tends to  be a lot of laundry, tons of food to cook, and endless mounds of work and just constant filthy toilets! See I told you it is endless!
Brainstorm #1. Two oldest girls - two jobs.
Job #1 Baking bread/Cooking
Job #2 Laundry.
They take the job by the week and swap off after 7 days. The girls each have a younger child to help them with their job.

Brainstorm #2. He who pees the toilet seat, cleans it. (If you can catch it/them) (IT WORKED!!!, don't think I will have same child wet the toilet seat again- he is terrified of working)

It really has been working! I am able to clean up the kitchen, sweep floors, and rock the baby without guilt. And Kayla has been able to play on her new Cricut ;) I know.... we aren't 30 days into the New Year, but it feels good enough that hopefully we will be able to form a new-GOOD habit! And the house has a long ways to go to become organized since I am better at reading the blogs written about how to organize than actually do it myself! But hey... I am trying!

And should I mention that the majority of our clothes are dried on racks by the Wood Cookstove rather than the drier, since we live at the Windy-est spot in Campbell County! And hanging laundry out on a pulley line only asked for them to be whisked off out in the red mud and maybe seen flying over the fence-
And now off to rock the baby back to sleep~

Four days has seemed more like 4 yrs.

Today has been a rather tough one. Not only do I have two sick children, one of which came close to being hospitalized yesterday for bronchiolitis (Jesse 9 months). Worrying and fretting over him doesn't even come close to the pain I have felt missing Austin. Despite the struggles we had with him, and the peace we have with putting him at Allegany Boys Camp. With that comes extreme anguish, pain, and nausea like you never figured. The house is quiet. The table is empty. The van feels like I forgot somebody at home. We have to carry wood in to the house. Their is a vacant bed. It just doesn't feel right. Kayla had a letter in the mail to him the day he was placed. Cheyenne wrote one yesterday... We do miss him terribly. And 14-22 months looks like an eternity! I am sure we will be living for those 'every 6 wk." visits.
Now it is our time to work on the aches and pains we have, feelings we need to work through, hearts that need healed. Learning to trust again, and to love unconditionally!

Till next time~

2014 was sent out slaughtering a hog

Not at all a bad thing to send out the old and bring in the new on!

And we are finished with our one and only hog slaughtering for the year. Me being sick-very sick with a virus left Wayne, Kayla, Cheyenne and Grandma cutting/deboning meat. It was a large/HUGE hog! (It buried the 440 lb. scale live weight)Today Wayne and Kayla screened 24 1/2 quarts of lard. We are splitting it with Mom. I was thrilled for the lard since I am down to 1 quart. That is all I use in my bread anymore, and also my pie crusts. I don't know what I would do without it.
Last year we slaughtered 8 hogs... so this is feeling like "A walk in the park" ;) With the sickness and traveling, I don't think we could have handled more than one. It's been a tough winter for us already. I think the Drs. could tell you too that we haven't had sick visits like this in 4 yrs. *sigh* and believe me, my child has to be sick to take them to the Doctor. Carrie had terrible ear ache, but I am still buying some more time, with garlic drops.. and I think it is paying off, today she was feeling a little better~ hoping for the continued up hill swing!
Wayne had off work today, which has been wonderful, I still haven't felt back to myself from this virus. It took me down, fast and hard. Just cooking supper tonight exhausted me. Since everybody was out choring, I fixed Stromboli and Tossed salad for supper- they were thrilled to come in to a warm supper sitting on the table waiting. With the cow to milk and 6 calves to feed, it takes the whole crew out there to get it done in an hour. But hey, it makes for some healthy appetites ;]

Well, must go get my fussy little one tucked down in his nest for the night...
Till next time~