Our days

Right now life is centered around School work, children, Puppies and gardening. So far we have 9 rows potatoes, 4 rows onions, double row peas, and of course, lettuce, kale, spinach, radishes, carrots planted. I know that sounds like a lot, but when you have a lot of little mouths to feed and they love all that sort of thing, it really isn't that much......

 Gardening is therapy.. It's refreshing, and gives you that sense of accomplishment, when it seems everything else that day has failed. And in our little world right now, we need everything we can get to brighten up our day and make it feel successful and cheerful!

 Here at home there are constant reminders of Austin, and with that is a lot of tears shed from everyone, today we folded his laundry and put it away, picked up his shoes and put them on the shelf.
And than I hear, "Mom, how many plates on the table?" and I think *ouch*, it just hurts. It is empty, and I count heads outside, and think there is one missing, and it hits me...Austin. Or I say, "hey Austin do you want................." and I remember he isn't here. Those are the tough days.

 And in between gardening, we embrace each day of warm sunshine that is given. Today the wind was extreme, and we all found it a little harder to enjoy the warmth.

 

 On the warm days, is when I  hear my little piano player out back on the deck playing away, and I sit back with a sigh of relief, because God is good! And in so many ways has blessed us.

 

I need little reminders daily to remember that God is there for us, he hears our cries... whether they are loud or quiet, Big or little.

.........Till Next Time.......

Yep! It's the little things that matter.

I found myself learning to adjust without Austin.. a.g.a.i.n. take one day at a time without Austin... a.g.a.i.n., forcing myself to focus on the little things, and find positive in them. And not on the mountains-because I will never be able to climb over them myself at this rate!

Whether it is medication change in a little one. It's a big ordeal around here. we have been showered in our face with antibiotic liquid for the last 6 months, why would I want to change to powder and have a sneezing fit trying to get the capsulated powder in my baby?

A warm cup of coffee always speaks sweet nothings to me

And it's ok that the 4 yr. old totes the 1 year old around everywhere, he loves her the most, and vice versus, so why knock it?

Yesterday I found this in the living room.. Sheer joy and happiness. Excuse the pj's, it was that kind of day! ;)

And than it is the "in action" pictures that are so catching!

 Love this one!

 

This is our first year, with a bird feeder of any sorts. We have loved watching the birds!

And than it is the child that sees blowing snow, and comes up with a solution to help keep his eyes and nose clear of it.

The baby that follows big sister around with mischief written all over his face.

And the struggles of sadness that my baby is turning 1. Oh how time has flown, and how unfair it has felt.

 Baby dear walks everywhere! giggling the whole time.

 

Last week, was a hard week. Tough doesn't even begin to cover it. It was one of those weeks you felt like you might have just been run over by a Mack truck. I cried over everything, Got upset over the little things. And my heart ached for Austin so bad, I felt nauseous almost to the point of throwing up.  It is hard when your vehicle is one shy of being filled up, it HURTS when you sit down at the table and there is that one empty place,  And than you sit in church and see families complete, happy, smiling, joyful, and we sit there with a seat vacant, and I cry the whole service, with my man's arm around me, worried because he can't get anything out of me... I am crying too much! And than I am thrilled for the excuse of a crying baby to just go sit in my vehicle. I cried because it marked 2yrs. since I lost a little one, but the joy that Jesse brings us everyday makes my heart sing once again this week. We hug him a little tighter, and he snuggles a little deeper into your arms.

It bothers me, that Jesse is turning 1 and Austin can't be here to celebrate, but maybe we can have another party when Austin does come home in 2.5 weeks. I cry every time I think of my brothers wedding coming up and the fact Austin probably won't be allowed to come home for that. It's the little things that are important.

But a new week has been started...and I want to focus on the little things, and bring the positive out in them.

1.  I am grateful that Sunday's fever didn't result in a UTI/Kidney infection, but just another virus!

2.  That today I can combine Dental day with Grocery shopping.                                    

3.  That if we go to Hagerstown, MD tomorrow that at least we can classify it as a date night, and I get  9 hrs, of total man time versus 2!!

4. The lady that walked into where fabric was being sold, and after asking her which ones she was looking at, she said, I am not really here to buy something for myself, but do you need a dress, I would love to buy you one! And she did. Those are the moments, that you know everybody still loves you even though you have been absent mentally....

5. I will be on the road 4 days this week, but each day is spent with my children, and  I want to make the best of my time with them, and enjoy them to the fullest!

 

So today? We are off to the Dentist for 'fix it's. Than to the grocery store...We have a full day ahead of us. Because of how we cook/eat now (more on that later), it takes me a long time to get all my stores covered! But I would love to get home in time to sew myself a dress for tomorrow! :)